I haven’t posted in some time because it appears I’ve caught Version 2.0 of the flu when my flu shot protected only against Version 1.0. I’ve been in and out of a NyQuil-induced delirium for the past two days (including as I write this, which could make for some interesting reading when I come out the other side).  As many of you know, I started this blog wanting it to be fun and inspirational.  I didn’t want to insult anyone or spark controversy.  Nevertheless, there is a strong feminist bent to a lot of what I write.  While I may use stiletto heels or a thigh-high slit skirt to package my message, it’s still very much there.  But now, in the wake of Tuesday’s election … when we came thisclose to having a woman lead this country after over 225 years, only to have her lose to a man that is, by all objective measures, less qualified for the job than she is … I feel the need to be direct …

Women still have so much we need to fight for.

These are hard words to write in a public forum. I’ve been given a lot of opportunities, and I’ve had a lot of supporters, and I’ve always been reluctant to make waves by playing the “chick card” (which is like the Death card in a Tarot card reading … not even the most open-minded person likes to see it).  Frankly for me, it’s been easier to figure out the rules of the game and try to achieve success within those confines instead of challenging them outright.  But doing so can prey on my mind … what I wasn’t able to say because a man interrupted me; what I said that a man repeated and then took credit for; what someone called me “too aggressive” for saying because a man wouldn’t listen when I first tried to say it nicely; and what I had to try to say nicely because I wanted to avoid being called too aggressive in the first place.  I also worry about the playing field for women in general.  Day after day, I’m the only woman in most meetings or phone calls I attend.  Do you know what it’s like to walk into a meeting of ten or more men and be the ONLY woman, even though women are over half of the U.S. population?  It’s hard not to wonder what I should (or could) be doing to change that given my position.

This election could have been a huge step forward … proof to all the women out there that you can really be anything you want … proof that if a powerful man gropes you, it’s not flattery but disrespect … proof that if you stand up and say something about it, you aren’t judged and he isn’t promoted … proof that you can’t be bullied into not speaking your mind by being called a nasty woman or a myriad of other names …

Instead, this election was a wake-up call that getting a woman in the Oval Office is going to happen only after we no longer need proof for matters like what’s listed above because we all (or most of us) already think that way. In discussions like these, I like to say that the opportunities for women have evolved faster than our gender roles or attitudes.  True, Hillary Clinton can get her name on the ballot, but can a majority of Americans see her as THE protector of this country, a role that has been assigned throughout history to a man?

That’s not to say that women aren’t different from men … this whole blog attests to that. I wear my femininity like a badge of honor, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less willing to get down into the trenches.  As the old saying goes, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did … but backwards and in high heels.  Right now, we have to be smarter and better in our white pantsuits, worn with pride after Labor Day (like the Theory version worn above by my friend Amy on Election Day).

But we also have to speak out. And help other women.  And teach our sons and daughters what true equality means.  And not be afraid to end a relationship if some man doesn’t understand what it means.  And rely on men who are sensitive to these issues to carry the torch with us.

We are nasty women. And we can do a lot more than roar.