When I was a little girl, my parents watched this series on Showtime called “The Paper Chase” (based on a movie of the same name), which was about a group of first year law students at Harvard studying (in highly dramatized fashion, of course, because watching people study is generally quite snooze-inducing) and otherwise trying their best to survive law school life.   John Houseman, who won an Oscar for the movie, played the brilliant contracts professor who wielded the Socratic Method like a knife (think those dancing fighters at the end of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” video … menacing but choreographed to make the point (and, I note, parodied to excellent effect in the movie Undercover Brother)):

“The Paper Chase” was my first exposure to law school, and while I didn’t fully understand everything that was going on, I thought going head-to-head in a battle of wits with a stodgy‎ but incredibly clever professor and then cramming all night to ace an exam seemed super-cool and grown-up (yeah, I was a total nerd).

Fast-forward 14 years, and after being put on the path with those early episodes of “The Paper Chase,” which path became even clearer to me after I spent almost every weekend of high school at a debate tournament, I finally ended up in law school.  I’ve been thinking a lot about law school this week because of post-election discussions about a myriad of legal-related topics … for example, what’s going to happen to the Supreme Court and whether some key decisions can be reversed, whether certain recent legislation can be repealed, and even the fate of the Electoral College.

So with law school going through my head, I had to wear what I call my “Paper Chase” outfit … an Altuzarra suede skirt with gold-tone buttons that I got from Net-a-Porter (http://www.net-a-porter.com), a striped Equipment blouse I got from Neiman Marcus (http://www.neimanmarcus.com), and camel-colored Christian Louboutin knee boots I got from Saks Fifth Avenue (http://www.saks.com).  I feel like I should grab my outlines and head to study group whenever I wear this.

And that brings me to my final observation … my favorite subject in law school was First Amendment law (in fact, I even have a t-shirt with the First Amendment written on it, which I plan on featuring one day in a blog post called “My Favorite T-Shirts,” which will also include my periodic table of the elements t-shirt and my David Bowie/Labyrinth t-shirt).  One thing that has stuck with me throughout all these years is Justice Brandeis’s observation from Whitney v. California that the “remedy to be applied [to speech we do not agree with] is more speech, not enforced silence.”  A lot was said during this election that shocked and surprised people, and issues that seem to have festered unspoken just below the surface are now out there.  The conversation needs to be civil, of course, but there should be conversation.  Let’s use this as an opportunity to keep talking …

I haven’t posted in some time because it appears I’ve caught Version 2.0 of the flu when my flu shot protected only against Version 1.0. I’ve been in and out of a NyQuil-induced delirium for the past two days (including as I write this, which could make for some interesting reading when I come out the other side).  As many of you know, I started this blog wanting it to be fun and inspirational.  I didn’t want to insult anyone or spark controversy.  Nevertheless, there is a strong feminist bent to a lot of what I write.  While I may use stiletto heels or a thigh-high slit skirt to package my message, it’s still very much there.  But now, in the wake of Tuesday’s election … when we came thisclose to having a woman lead this country after over 225 years, only to have her lose to a man that is, by all objective measures, less qualified for the job than she is … I feel the need to be direct …

Women still have so much we need to fight for.

These are hard words to write in a public forum. I’ve been given a lot of opportunities, and I’ve had a lot of supporters, and I’ve always been reluctant to make waves by playing the “chick card” (which is like the Death card in a Tarot card reading … not even the most open-minded person likes to see it).  Frankly for me, it’s been easier to figure out the rules of the game and try to achieve success within those confines instead of challenging them outright.  But doing so can prey on my mind … what I wasn’t able to say because a man interrupted me; what I said that a man repeated and then took credit for; what someone called me “too aggressive” for saying because a man wouldn’t listen when I first tried to say it nicely; and what I had to try to say nicely because I wanted to avoid being called too aggressive in the first place.  I also worry about the playing field for women in general.  Day after day, I’m the only woman in most meetings or phone calls I attend.  Do you know what it’s like to walk into a meeting of ten or more men and be the ONLY woman, even though women are over half of the U.S. population?  It’s hard not to wonder what I should (or could) be doing to change that given my position.

This election could have been a huge step forward … proof to all the women out there that you can really be anything you want … proof that if a powerful man gropes you, it’s not flattery but disrespect … proof that if you stand up and say something about it, you aren’t judged and he isn’t promoted … proof that you can’t be bullied into not speaking your mind by being called a nasty woman or a myriad of other names …

Instead, this election was a wake-up call that getting a woman in the Oval Office is going to happen only after we no longer need proof for matters like what’s listed above because we all (or most of us) already think that way. In discussions like these, I like to say that the opportunities for women have evolved faster than our gender roles or attitudes.  True, Hillary Clinton can get her name on the ballot, but can a majority of Americans see her as THE protector of this country, a role that has been assigned throughout history to a man?

That’s not to say that women aren’t different from men … this whole blog attests to that. I wear my femininity like a badge of honor, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less willing to get down into the trenches.  As the old saying goes, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did … but backwards and in high heels.  Right now, we have to be smarter and better in our white pantsuits, worn with pride after Labor Day (like the Theory version worn above by my friend Amy on Election Day).

But we also have to speak out. And help other women.  And teach our sons and daughters what true equality means.  And not be afraid to end a relationship if some man doesn’t understand what it means.  And rely on men who are sensitive to these issues to carry the torch with us.

We are nasty women. And we can do a lot more than roar.

I think a lot of people would be surprised to find out that I consider myself to be a little bit of a romantic.  Overly analytical?  Definitely.  After all, I was on the debate team in high school and college, and then I went to law school, and now I’m in finance … all areas where removing emotion in favor of rationality is a huge asset.  So, they would ask … do I cry at love scenes?  Or read or write poetry?  Or take pictures with a boyfriend where the sun is illuminating our silhouettes?  Ummmm … maybe not.

BUT … there are a few things that get me.  And one of them is that song “Beyond the Sea,” written by Jack Lawrence in 1946 and made famous by Bobby Darin in 1959.  I’m sure you know what I’m talking about because it was used in a Carnival Cruise commercial a few years back (which is totally ironic because I used to tell my ex-husband that if he ever suggested a cruise for a vacation, I would think he wanted to murder me because that seems to be the plot of every third episode of “Unsolved Mysteries”).  Anyway, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, the first stanza is:

Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ships that go sailin’ …

I’m drawn to the idea of someone out there, just waiting to be found, but still hard to reach, so that when you do, and you have to make compromises, you realize it’s worth it.  The last stanza is:

I know beyond a doubt, ah
My heart will lead me there soon
We’ll meet (I know we’ll meet) beyond the shore
We’ll kiss just as before
Happy we’ll be beyond the sea
And never again I’ll go sailing …

Totally apropos because, in this day and age, when there are so many possibilities, making some kind of sacrifice seems to be what it takes to make love work.

So, when I saw this sea-inspired embroidered skirt from Temperley London on Net-a-Porter (http://www.net-a-porter.com), the Bobby Darin song is the first thing that went through my head (for obvious reasons, per the closer look):

And with that kind of inspiration, I knew I had to get it.  I paired it with a gray Marni sweater that I also got off of Net-a-Porter and the same suede Gianvito Rossi over-the-knee boots that I wrote about yesterday.

Wearing this outfit today and silently singing “Beyond the Sea” gave me a hopefulness I don’t usually feel … so much so that if I ever stand at the shore, THIS is what I’m going to wear …

So how many of you have hit up Beyoncé’s Formation World Tour?  I went to the show at Citi Field in New York back in June, and it was hands-down the best concert I have ever seen.  When she walked out in formation with her posse, it was so empowering that I immediately started drafting girlfriends in my mind to join me for a group strut whenever I really want to make an “I am woman, hear me roar” entrance:

Now, I wouldn’t call myself a HUGE Beyoncé fan.  Of course I think she’s beautiful and talented, and if I hear a song of hers on the radio, I typically like it.  But I don’t know her non-radio songs, and I hadn’t even seen the “Lemonade” video before the concert, despite all the press about it.  I would say about 60% of what I heard at the concert was not familiar to me, but that didn’t matter.  The costumes, the dancing, the visuals … all of it combined in a way so as not to allow my attention to stray for even a second.

That being said, I did have two recurring thoughts throughout the concert, which related to Beyoncé’s amazing over-the-knee boots.  To put this context, virtually every outfit of hers was accessorized with over-the-knee boots:

My first thought was, “How the heck does she keep those things up?!?”  I have issues with my over-the-knee boots sagging or falling down when I’m just walking from my car to the office; imagine the challenge if you’re singing and dancing like a Queen Bey?  If there’s some sort of anti-gravity double-sided tape for over-the-knee boots, I hope she starts selling it out of her House of Dereon or Ivy Park clothing line.  My second thought was, “I totally need to get some suede over-the-knee boots because those are awesome!”

So I kind of copied her middle look from above and got some light suede Gianvito Rossi over-the-knee boots from Net-a-Porter (http://www.net-a-porter.com).  Obviously, I can’t wear them to work with a leotard, so I chose to pair them with a Veronica Beard dress I recently bought off of Shopbop (http://www.shopbop.com).  Here’s a closer look at the boots:

I totally loved strutting around in these boots yesterday, even though I didn’t have my girls to join a formation.  Next time, though …

As we head into the Halloween weekend, I thought I’d get into the spirit by doing a few posts featuring some of my Halloween costumes.  Halloween is the one time of the year when you can legitimately do whatever you want with fashion, so I like to take advantage of it to the fullest.

So what did I decide to do this year to push the boundaries of what I typically wear?  I decided to find a red latex jumpsuit so I could be Britney Spears in the “Oops! … I Did It Again” video.  Not only is that song downright awesome (and Britney’s look in the video is iconic), but it’s constantly stuck in my head because my son utters a lot of instances of “oops” … and the rest of the song just flows from there.

So here are a few fashion observations after I debuted this year’s costume tonight:

1.  Now that it looks like this Internet thing is going to be huge, your imagination is really the limit on putting your costume together.  Whatever you want to be … even if it’s not available at a Spirit Halloween store … you can usually find with a little diligence.  I went to Etsy and typed in red catsuit, and I found a store out of the Ukraine that was able to make me exactly what I wanted for a little over $100 including shipping.  I sent them the below pic of Britney, and I think they did a pretty good job:

2.  Latex is not easy to wear.  To start out with, it’s not easy to get on.  Thankfully, I had a tip to use talcum powder, which helped.  And once it’s on, you will sweat (because it’s the ultimate non-breathable material), but instead of staying hot, you get the occasional chill like when you have a fever.

3.  Jumpsuits are also not easy to wear.  In the last two years or so, the jumpsuit has made a resurgence, and it’s hard not to “jump” (groan) on the bandwagon and buy one (or more).  But you basically have to get half undressed with a jumpsuit if you need to go to the restroom, and that’s a logistical headache that sometimes you don’t want to deal with … especially when what you’re pulling up is latex.

So that brings me to my last observation, which is that you can expect a certain amount of discomfort in a Halloween costume, but you should be cognizant of how much you can take.  My limit is about four hours.  But then I’m ready to go back to being myself … which may be the best thing to come out of any Halloween costume.

In the United States, fall brings football, which you can spend your entire weekend (as well as some weeknights)‎ watching depending on your level of passion.  Friday night is high school football (and if you haven’t watched the TV show “Friday Night Lights” with their clear eyes and full hearts, you should check it out); Saturday is college football; and Sunday is professional football.

Since I’m from Texas, one of the hard-core football states, you’d think I’d have every weekend planned from now to the Super Bowl.   But that is not the case.  I may be a total traitor to my upbringing, but I’m just not a big football fan.  There’s too much setting up involved, especially with teams that don’t do much passing and kind of inch the ball down the field a few yard lines at a time.

That’s not to say I don’t keep up with it, however.  I work in finance, after all, which is a very male-dominated industry, and a lot of non-work talk during this time of year is about football (and fantasy football, but that’s a whole separate topic).   So I pick my team and follow them enough to fake it and try to supplement with snippets I picked up from my ex-husband or dad (like what a spread offense or two-point conversion is).

My team is the Longhorns from the  University of Texas, where I went to law school.  A lot of people support the teams from their undergrads, but my undergrad isn’t really known for football, and UT is.  The only problem (besides the fact that every year since Colt McCoy seems to have been a rebuilding year) is that the team color is burnt orange.  What?!?!  Who looks good in that?!?!

But I’ve discovered not to be scared of orange.  I think there’s a right shade for everyone, and when you find it, it can be amazing.   Mine is a true orange or a little lighter, like with the Dion Lee dress I got from Farfetch (www.farfetch.com), shown above.  It’s an orange that complements, rather than washes out, my skin tone, and the white lining helps too.

So rather than stay away from orange except for Halloween, try a few pieces until you find your right shade.  I think it will be a winning play … just like what Vince Young did for UT at the National Championsh‎ip at the Rose Bowl in 2006 (which is still totally exciting to watch … even for me, a non-football fan).

Today is my dad’s birthday.  My dad (and my mom, but it’s not my mom’s birthday, so she just has to wait until August 2nd for her post (although a lot of this applies to her too)) is awesome.  He’s been incredibly supportive throughout my entire life, but in particular during these last three years, after I got divorced.  I had no idea how I was going to manage when I was working 12-hour days heading up a number of deals and my son was only 18 months old.  Without hesitation, my parents moved to Los Angeles from Texas (and they’re, like, sixth generation Texans, so that’s huge) to help me out so I wouldn’t have to take a step back from my career or scour the city for child care and worry about how good it was.

In her book Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg writes, “I truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is.  I don’t know of a single woman in a leadership position whose life partner is not fully—and I mean fully—supportive of her career. No exceptions.”  And when I was reading that, I thought it should be broader than just a significant other.  I think we all need to pick someone to have in our lives who has our back, whether it be a significant other, a friend, a sibling or, in my case, a parent.  There’s just too much to handle on our own without a helping hand.

So my dad has been one of those people for me.  He does my grocery shopping and dry cleaning; he notices if my car is low on gas and goes to fill it up; he loves to cook and creates amazing dishes for all of us; he spends hours with my son playing games and doing activities with him like planting a garden in the backyard.  Plus, he’s just a really fun guy to hang out with.  He’s a former art teacher with a wicked sense of humor (although, admittedly, it’s changed with age), so he tries to make everything entertaining and inventive, as illustrated by these pics:

When I got dressed today, I knew I had to wear something that matched my celebratory mood.  This Aminaka Wilmont dress I got off of Net-a-Porter (http://www.net-a-porter.com) was perfect.  The colors are so vivid and look to me like a disco ball party is happening right on my dress.  All that’s missing are streamers and a cake.  I also knew that my dad, The Artist, would totally appreciate it (after all, one of his activities with me when I was a kid was making our own tie-dye shirts, which we were hopeful would look something like this (alas, they did not)).

So Happy Birthday, Dad!!!  I love you.

So how many of you are watching “Westworld” on HBO?  It’s still early days, but so far it’s seriously good … like a Spinal Tap / Up to 11 kind of good.  And I remain optimistic because it has some legitimate bona fides, including:

1. It’s based on a 1973 movie written and directed by Mr. Jurassic Park himself, Michael Crichton.  He clearly knows what he’s doing with technologically advanced amusement parks run amok.
2. It’s both sci-fi AND a Western … in one TV show!  How can you not have fun with robots heading towards some Skynet-type singularity while carrying six-shooters and speaking with exaggerated drawls?
3. Among the all-star cast are BOTH Ed Harris and Sir Anthony Hopkins.  Now I do love Ed Harris because he has my favorite line of all time in Apollo 13 (see my post “It’s not the heat, but the humidity”), but to get Anthony Hopkins too?!?  Well, serve up the chianti!

After catching up on all the past episodes this weekend, I can’t get this show out of my head (and I’m also realizing how Netflix has spoiled us by making all episodes of their shows available at once for a real binge-fest because waiting a week now seems like true torture).  As a result, when I walked into my closet this morning, I was inspired to find something a little Western.  And who does Western-influenced couture better than Ralph Lauren?

Here, I’m wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt dress that I got from Saks Fifth Avenue (http://www.saks.com).  The Western influences are subtle … the desert-beige color, the two front pockets with pointed flaps, the ivory buttons that mimic the mother-of-pearl snaps usually found on Western shirts … but the overall effect is enough to make me think that if I added a hat and some cowboy boots, all I’d have to do is find Teddy the Guide to show me around.*

*  To all my Texas readers … if this were Go Texan Day in Houston, I know I’d never pass muster.  You guys knock Western wear out of the park.  Thankfully, I don’t think the robots of Westworld would require the same level of authenticity.

I’m a total girly girl.  I know, I know … huge shocker, right?  Frankly, it’s been so much of who I am that when I got pregnant, I was absolutely convinced I was going to have a daughter because every image I ever had of myself with a child involved activities like playing Barbies and braiding hair and dressing in endless amounts of pink.  But then … SURPRISE … I had a boy!  And it’s been an absolutely amazing experience because he expands my world and pushes me out of my comfort zone every single day.  True, I could do without the scatological humor that he seems to love (and I’m sure he could do without his mother teaching him the word scatological at age 4), but nobody has had (or could have) such a balancing influence on me and my interests.

One of those interests is army.  He’s fascinated by World War I and World War II.  We’ve been to every warplane museum in Southern California, and given his enthusiasm during these outings, we made a trip to the National WWII Museum in New Orleans (which is a truly amazing museum (not that there aren’t already a hundred good reasons to visit New Orleans, easily over half of them involving food)).  We’ve taken him to the army surplus store and gotten him camouflage t-shirts and pants and hats and even dog tags, which he wears in the bath.  And if I wear anything army … watch out … he thinks it’s the coolest thing I could ever do.

So you can imagine my excitement when I went to a trunk show for Figue (which is also available at http://www.net-a-porter.com, http://www.matchesfashion.com and http://www.farfetch.com) and saw these amazing embellished military jackets.  I spoke with the founder and creative director, Stephanie von Watzdorf, and she explained that she recycles military jackets from army surplus stores and then has them hand-beaded by Indian artisans with intricate designs and symbols, many of which have an Egyptian influence and are intended to signify life or renewal or protection (like the Eye of Ra on the jacket I bought above).  There were a number of jackets that I tried on — every one of them unique — but this one was perfect for me, especially with the phoenix on the back, which I knew my son would love.

I’ve been wearing this jacket with everything when I’m not at work.  It’s durable and versatile, but the beading makes it so stylish and eye-catching (and, fingers crossed, imparts some good vibes).  It’s completely representative of the balance my son has brought to my life … glamour mixed with a good amount of ruggedness … and I love it (and him) for that.

I grew up in a small town right outside of Houston, Texas.  If you know anything about Houston, you probably know that (1) it has the best TexMex food EVER (seriously, who can’t dip, like, a thousand chips in the chile con queso of Ninfa’s or Casa Ole), (2) it is home to NASA’s Mission Control, which takes over after launch (and at which Gene Kranz allegedly said, in response to someone complaining that Apollo 13 was going to be NASA’s biggest disaster, “With all due respect, I believe this is gonna be our finest hour” … oooh, MAJOR chills every time I hear that), and (3) it is humid as all get-out.

Growing up in this humidity prepared me quite well for my trip to Thailand this week.  You see, Thailand is so humid that my hotel room has a “humidity gauge” so I can be prepared for the amount of moisture that is going to cover me like a blanket as soon as I walk outside.  When I opened my balcony this afternoon to check out the view of the river, all of my mirrors fogged up in about 60 seconds.  It might as well be raining, but it’s not (other than some short, desperate bursts that sound as if the atmosphere is saying, “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!”).

So how do you survive humidity that’s 83% at 10 pm at night and still be somewhat fashionable?  What I learned from growing up in the Houston area (and what I am applying to this week in Thailand) is the following:

1. Wear lightweight, natural fabrics that breathe.  Cotton and linen are the obvious choices, and while some people eschew silk since it can repel water and wrinkle,  I’m a fan of a good summer silk since it’s super-light and can stay cool on your skin by catching whatever breeze there is.  This silk Altuzarra dress that I got from Net-a-Porter (http://www.net-a-porter.com) has been perfect.  The silk is lightweight and doesn’t wrinkle, and the dress is button-down with two side slits that afford plenty of air circulation.  Definitely avoid most synthetic fibers since they are NOT breathable and will cause all that moisture to keep building up until all you can think about is jumping fully clothed into the nearest pool.
2. Embrace the bad hair day.  My blog pics should be a testament to the fact that I like to have some body in my hair.  While that’s totally do-able in Los Angeles, it’s a complete pipe dream in a humid climate like Houston or Thailand since any style will just fall out of your hair the minute you walk outside.  In Houston, I used that Aussie “instant freeze” hair spray in the purple canister that hardened your hairstyle so much that it basically broke the teeth of a comb if you tried to pull one through it:
   

   I can’t go back to that, so I’ve just gotten comfortable rocking the super-straight look.

3. Go for minimal make-up.  The huge upside of humidity is that your skin will look awesome — all young and dewy.  You don’t need much make-up, which is good because the huge downside of humidity is that your make-up will melt in about five minutes outside.

To sum it all up in one image, my goal is to mimic Ashley Judd or Sandra Bullock in a John Grisham movie where sweat is glistening off my skin in a totally sultry, non-gross kind of way.  Hollywood-ish, I know, but wouldn’t it be great if we could all make humidity look this good: