This weekend I saw the movie Hidden Figures, which is about three African-American women mathematicians who made enormous contributions to NASA in the early years of the space program.  It is unbelievable to me that in 1961 we could have had such rampant discrimination, thinking foolishly that separate could somehow be equal.  And while you can quibble with certain facts (e.g., NASA had integrated facilities in 1958 and success may have come earlier for certain of these women), the point largely remains the same … regardless of the exact year or the exact people involved, neither African-Americans nor women (and especially not both) were treated anything close to equal within the memories of most of our parents and almost all of our grandparents.

How can anyone watch a movie like Hidden Figures and not want to be on the right side of history?  And why do we get so caught up in our day-to-day way of thinking that it’s hard for us to stop and factor in how history will judge us?

My sister gave me some advice once when I had driven to Las Vegas with this guy who was a total jerk to me once we got there.  I left dinner crying and called her, and she arranged for a plane ticket home and told me to pack my bag and get to the airport before he got back to the room even though my flight didn’t leave for a few hours.  She knew I was wavering, and she said, “Listen, Emily, if you were watching a movie of this, what would make you cheer for the heroine?  Would it be walking out and not looking back, or staying and allowing herself to continue to be treated this way?”

That advice has always stuck with me, and I think it works on a scale larger than just some guy.  It stretches you to think about how you can act like those you admire, even if it goes against what you want to do.  We all respond to stories of people who fight for what’s right and stand up for basic human values like life, liberty and justice, and when we give ourselves some objectivity by turning our choices into a story (instead of, say, getting sucked into a line-by-line Twitter war), it seems to give us some perspective we might not otherwise have.

These are interesting times … when entire states are being threatened with federal defunding and even the Super Bowl halftime show is on a time delay in case it gets too political.  I think there is a right side of history here, and I hope people will continue to fight to be on it.  I know I will, which is why I’m wearing this battle red mini-dress by Missoni that I got from The Outnet (http://www.theoutnet.com).  Now who’s going to join my battle cry?

How many of you have seen that 1992 movie A Few Good Men, starring Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson?  If not, you should stop reading this post, download it on Amazon (or just look for it on basic cable because it’s rerun pretty frequently), watch it and then come back to this blog.  Why?  Because this movie is *awesome* … I would even put it on my top ten list OF ALL TIME.  (Sidebar:  It also has the distinction of being my path to Kevin Bacon in the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game.  I have a friend who is friends with Ashton Kutcher, who was married to Demi Moore, who starred in A Few Good Men with … KEVIN BACON!)

You should also watch this movie before you finish this post because I am about to spoil it …

Jack Nicholson (his character’s name is totally irrelevant because he’s SO Jack Nicholson in this movie, unlike, say, in As Good As It Gets) is the head of the U.S. military base at Guantanamo Bay and orders a “Code Red” on a soldier who has failed to respect the chain of command. The Code Red was meant to punish the soldier, but ends up killing him.  After some serious courtroom drama and a very memorable monologue, Jack Nicholson is arrested for murder, but the two soldiers who carried out the Code Red are also found guilty of “conduct unbecoming a U.S. Marine” and dishonorably discharged.  One of them doesn’t understand why they have been found guilty if they were just following orders from a superior officer like they were supposed to do, and the other one points out that they failed to stand up for what was right.

And that’s what I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.  It can be hard to speak out against authority, but if someone imposes extrajudicial orders and circumvents the rule of law that has been put in place to protect those who may not be able to defend themselves, then we MUST do so.  Regardless of whether you think U.S. immigration policy needs to be reevaluated, what we saw this weekend was a “Code Red” gone completely wrong.  Not only were refugees escaping oppressive regimes banned from entering the U.S. for 90 days, but so were holders of valid immigrant visas, some of whom have lived in this country for years.

We are a country of immigrants.  Most of us came here at some point from someplace else.  Our culture is one of acceptance.  As is inscribed on the Statue of Liberty, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free … .”  There is no asterisk with fine print excluding every single citizen of certain countries without any consideration of his or her circumstances.  We cannot allow fear to dictate overly broad exclusions.  We did that once with the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II, which was a dark moment in U.S. history.

Our country is amazing because of its variety of colors and shapes and textures … much like this Mary Katrantzou dress that I got from Moda Operandi (http://www.modaoperandi.com).  (Sorry, this is a fashion blog, after all.)

My friend Amy came over for dinner last night and was telling me about the Women’s March that she attended in Austin, Texas with her 10-year-old daughter and her daughter’s friends.  Not surprisingly for Austin, there were a number of partially naked women with “My Body, My Choice” painted on their chests and backs.  The kids were gawking (in the innocent way that kids do) because bare breasts are totally taboo here in the United States.  Of course, that was part of the statement … they shouldn’t be.  Breasts don’t always need to be sexualized, and women can show them if they want.

I completely agree with that.  But I also think it’s natural for us to want to be noticed for our attractiveness (or even sexiness) … biological imperative and all that.  I’m a fairly modest person by nature, so my version of sexiness is a form-fitting dress like the printed column dress I’m wearing above from Preen by Thornton Bregazzi that I got from Shopbop (http://www.shopbop.com), and not necessarily showing a lot of skin.

But whatever your version of sexy, I don’t think it’s anti-feminist to dress to be attractive.  I think women are sometimes concerned that we have to de-sexualize ourselves in order to be on an equal playing field, but I think it’s just the opposite … understanding our sexuality and wearing it with confidence gives us an advantage, kind of like those free throw distractions in basketball.

I think the important thing is that sexiness can’t be all that a woman is about.  To continue the basketball analogy, she has to be able to dribble and dunk too.  What I think undermines feminism are those situations where sexiness is the only thing.  Then, women become objects, and ones that can be too easily tossed aside at that.  Women have to be playing for something else besides sex for sexiness to be empowering.

Let’s face it … women in our society are going to be judged for how they look.  Being confident in and proud of how you present yourself helps take away the power that other people have to judge so that we women can focus on what really matters … that we are strong and independent and, while looking better, can do everything a man can do.

Saturday January 21, 2017, was a (an?) historic day as women’s marches took place all around the world.  According to the official Website, there were 673 marches with a total of 4,814,000 attendees.  The photos are truly inspirational … throngs of people (women, men and children) in pink pussy hats holding up signs for democracy and equal rights and respect for everyone, regardless of their gender, race or sexual preference.

So I am adding my voice to all of theirs …

Women have equal opportunities with men largely in name only.  I won’t deny this is still significantly better than 50 years ago, but our fundamental way of thinking needs to change before women are truly on equal footing with men.  We can’t view a man as “assertive” and a woman as a “bitch”.  We have to see emotion and sensitivity as strengths and not weaknesses.  And we can’t look down on a woman who chooses a career over children or tries to juggle both.

A few years ago I read a novel called The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin.  It imagines a world where there is no fixed gender … at any time an individual can be the one who ends up getting pregnant, so everyone lives with the possibility of carrying a child.  It’s an interesting thought experiment on how society could change if all of us internalized the responsibilities of being the one to give birth.

A lot of the challenges that we women face are related to reproduction.  Our bodies are a battleground, and unlike men, they affect our jobs.  After all, not until the Pill was introduced in 1960 could women plan for careers without the uncertainty of having to give them up if they got pregnant.  We are still fighting for the choices that men take for granted.  We may choose to be mothers, or we may not; we may choose to continue our careers, or we may decide to work in the home … but they are our own decisions, and they’re hard enough to make without having someone regulate or judge them.

They say it’s hard to know what it’s like for someone else until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.  Perhaps men should don our stilettos and see.  Here, they’re studded Saint Laurent paired with a zippered Givenchy jacket from Farfetch (http://www.farfetch.com) and black leather J Brand leggings from Net-a-Porter (http://www.net-a-porter.com).

I, for one, feel empowered.

First things first … I acknowledge that the 1944 holiday classic “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is totally creepy.  What, with lyrics like:

I ought to say no, no, no – Mind if I move in closer?
At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out
Ah, but it’s cold outside

how can anyone raised in the “no means no” era not feel just a little uncomfortable?  Perhaps Key & Peele summed up the whole vibe best (and also turned the tables) in their parody “Just Stay for the Night” (which is worth a watch at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc_F0zP9usU).

Regardless of my feminist objections to the song, I’ll still throw out that line whenever I head back inside to grab a coat before I leave the house.  And it’s definitely coat weather!  Which also means that tomorrow, coats will be on prominent display as hundreds of thousands of people descend on Washington D.C. for Inauguration Day 2017 (or the associated marches).

I have to say, the coat parade has already started out promising.  Both Melania and Ivanka Trump pulled out all the stops in the coats they wore to the wreath-laying ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery.  I was green with envy over Ivanka’s Oscar de la Renta dress and matching coat, and Melania’s military-inspired coat by Norisol Ferrari, a New York designer and daughter of a wounded veteran, was perfect for the occasion:

I think a really unique, timeless and amazing coat is one of the best investment pieces you can have (although I didn’t really appreciate this until I started traveling to New York a lot more).  I had been on the look-out for a new coat for the better part of two years before I happened on this Narciso Rodriguez trench coat on Gilt (http://www.gilt.com).  It’s made of cow hair, which gives it texture and shine, and is a rich wine color that’s a great alternative to traditional black but still goes with almost everything.  I also love the slim fit with the belt, which offers shape even over a few layers of clothes.

And if you have a fabulous coat, there’s no reason to stay inside.  Get out there and show it off!

How many of you have seen the trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2?  It’s set to the 1974 song “Fox on the Run” by Sweet.  When I saw the trailer before Rogue One a week ago, I looked over at my son to tell him we were so going to see that movie, and he was singing along to every single word of that song.  I shouldn’t have been totally surprised because the song’s inclusion in the trailer led to it being #1 on the iTunes Rock Chart in late 2016, but I still found it AWESOME that my five-year-old can appreciate good 1970s music.

The thing is, music from the ’70s largely gets a bad rap … I blame disco … but there are some really fantastic songs.  If you don’t agree, just pick up the soundtrack to Dazed and Confused.  While I know some people LOVE that movie (Quentin Tarantino has included it as one of his ten greatest films of all time), I think it’s just okay, other than Matthew McConaughey’s “alright, alright, alright” (which I repeat constantly) and the line, “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man.  I keep getting older, they stay the same age.” (which I don’t).  But the soundtrack is AMAZING.  “Fox on the Run” makes an appearance, but also “Low Rider” by War, “Slow Ride” by Foghat, “School’s Out” by Alice Cooper and “Rock and Roll All Nite” by KISS (which, contrary to popular rumor, does NOT stand for Knights in Satan’s Service).

Guardians of the Galaxy is doing its best to highlight for the younger generation the best songs of the ’70s.  I also love that they’re featured as being on a mix tape that Starlord’s mom gave him before she died.  After all, I feel that one of a parent’s biggest responsibilities is making sure his or her children are exposed to all the awesome pop culture (music, movie, TV) that came before.  “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone is a great opening song.  And then there’s “Hooked on a Feeling” by Blue Suede and “Go All the Way” by the Raspberries, ending with “O-o-h Child” by the Five Stairsteps.

And you know what else gets a bad rap from the ’70s?  Fashion.  I blame ridiculously long sideburns, wide ties and leisure suits, but much like the music, there was some good fashion in the 70s.  Bold prints for one, especially in earthier colors.  And when I saw this Etro wrap dress on Net-a-Porter (http://www.net-a-porter.com), it reminded me of the best of ’70s fashion, and I had to get it.  I paired it with black stockings (it’s been cold in L.A.) and Christian Louboutin pointed-toe pumps.

So my son and I have been having our ’70s moment, and we’re counting down to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2‘s release in May.  We can’t wait to hear what else the soundtrack brings …

It’s the first full work week of the new year, so it’s been busy (especially with this rain in LA that makes my morning commute feel like I’m running a gauntlet), but I didn’t want to get too far in to the week without sharing some thoughts on the first big fashion event of the year … this past Sunday’s Golden Globes!

I thought “Best Dressed” went to Lily Collins in the above Zuhair Murad gown that made me think I was seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.  The delicate lace bodice that swept into a full lace and tulle skirt was straight out of a (very stylish) fairy tale, and she topped it all off perfectly with her dramatic updo and complementary make-up.

And if Lily Collins was the valedictorian of the Golden Globes, I thought Zoe Saldana was the salutatorian.  She was wearing pink too (an awards favorite of mine after Gwyneth Paltrow wore her pink Ralph Lauren dress at the 1999 Oscars).  I thought the ruffled and tiered silk chiffon gown with satin bow by Gucci was gorgeous yet imminently wearable.

And then there were three trends that stood out for me:

•  Plunging Necklines.  The double-sided tape was getting a quadruple-sided work-out on Sunday night with all of the plunging necklines.  (Indeed, I know from shopping for my own holiday party fashion that designers are loving the deep v-cut).  The below looks from Emma Stone, Busy Philipps and Gina Rodriguez are my favorites in this category.  I do think a true v-cut works better than a rectangular cut-out down the middle, which a couple of folks were trying.

• The Color Yellow.  A lot of people seem to shy away from yellow (especially blondes), but Sunday night proved that yellow can work on everyone.  It’s such a happy, vibrant color that photographs surprisingly well.  I also loved that people were pairing it with lighter accessories instead of heavy golds or blacks.  Reese Witherspoon, Viola Davis and Emily Ratajkowski spread a little sunshine on an otherwise rainy Sunday.

•  See-Through.  See-through (or at least partial see-through) dresses seem to have been a trend ever since the label Self-Portrait exploded … usually they come with lace that’s lined up to a point (or you can provide your own lining with a selection of one or more undergarments).  Unlike the other two trends, however, I think this one can be harder to wear because you want your dress to be the focus, and not what you’re wearing underneath it.  I think Kerry Washington got the closest to making this work, but I think it’s really hard to pull off well.

That being said, we all know that the Golden Globes are just a dry run for the Oscars, so I can’t wait to see what trends pop up at the end of February!

I’ve always had a weakness for mysteries and puzzles of all kinds … the more interactive, the better. I love hosting those boxed murder mystery games where you get eight or ten people together and assign everyone a character. And lately there’s been a spate of escape rooms and other immersive experiences that feel like they’ve been inspired by that 1997 movie The Game with Michael Douglas and Sean Penn. I’m just waiting for someone to open a weekend hotel where you go to solve a mystery like in that 1976 movie Murder by Death with Truman Capote and Alec Guinness. If nobody’s done it by the time I retire, that seriously might be my passion project.

I likewise read a lot of mysteries, but they aren’t quite as interactive. And then I happened upon this book called S. by J.J. Abrams and Doug Dorst (using that totally helpful feature “Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought” on Amazon). It doesn’t come in electronic version, which discouraged me at first, but when I got it in the mail, I realized why. ‎ It’s made to look like an old library book with notations in the margins written by two people who are exchanging the book back-and-forth and trying to solve a mystery about the author’s identity and that of his translator and what happened to them. And in between the pages there are postcards and letters and transcripts that one or the other provides that help illuminate what they’re learning. I haven’t finished the book, but it’s already one of the most creative literary experiences I’ve ever had (and further proof that J.J. Abrams is REALLY the real deal).

So when I went out last night, I was in this puzzle vibe and therefore chose this patterned Preen dress that I got from Net-a-Porter (http://www.net-a-porter.com) that reminds me of a Tetris puzzle.  I paired it with Givenchy black booties that I got from Farfetch (http://www.farfetch.com).  And I headed over for cocktails at the Philippe Starck-designed lounge at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills, which itself is somewhat mysterious and innovative.

Now to get back to the book!  I can’t wait to see what the next page will bring …

Wow … it’s been over a week since I’ve done a proper post!  A lot has happened since then.  I finished about six LEGO (or LEGO-compatible) sets for my son, including the snake variation of Mindstorms, the LEGO Batman Movie Batcave and a battlecruiser that we picked up at the WWII Museum in New Orleans.  I actually made it past midnight on New Year’s Eve (instead of celebrating on East Coast time so I could be in bed by 10).  And I caught up on a LOT of TV and movies.

One of the TV shows I watched was Stranger Things on Netflix.  It’s sort of a Goonies meets X-Files series set in the 1980s, starring the ultimate non-Heather, Winona Ryder, and a bunch of adorable, precocious kids.  I highly recommend it, especially if you grew up in the 1970s or ’80s and got into sci-fi or video games and still get a kick out of those movies where the geeky science kids save the day.

But the one thing that was bothering me during my day-and-a-half binge-session was the guy who played Jim Hopper, the Chief of Police.  He looked so familiar to me, but I couldn’t place him.  Thankfully, that’s what the Internet Movie Database is for, and I looked up David Harbour and found out he’s been in a ton of TV shows and movies … although (surprisingly) nothing I’ve ever watched … but I saw he went to college with me and was in the same class.  And then I realized THAT’S where I had seen him.  My college isn’t that big … maybe a little over 1,000 in each undergraduate class … and it’s kind of in the middle of nowhere, so you got to know faces really well, even if you didn’t know the names to go with them.

Realizing a connection like this always gives me a little jolt.  We’re so much more mobile and interconnected than I ever thought possible.  We travel, we move, we spend time on social media, so it’s inevitable we’re going to come across some of the same people at multiple points in our lives, even if the different contexts may cause us not to realize it at first.  An extreme example?  I went out on two dates with a guy here in Los Angeles before I realized he was the same guy who had taught a seminar I had taken in law school in Texas.  He seemed familiar, but it just never occurred to me … seeing him out here, outside of law.  But I was listening to an NPR story on class actions one day, and I thought of that class, and then it just clicked.

They say we’re all separated by six or fewer degrees; we just need to figure out what those connections are.  I think that’s becoming more and more true and that there might be some shared moment between you and who you think is a total stranger.  And since my college connections started this whole train of thought, I couldn’t help but select a preppy outfit that screams (at least to me) East Coast college when I walked into my closet this morning.  Here, I’m wearing a Ralph Lauren camel leather skirt paired with a Ralph Lauren navy sweater (both from http://www.ralphlauren.com), a Theory white button-down shirt and Christian Louboutin camel knee boots.

I also did a little Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon just to have some fun with this.  I think I can get to him in four degrees …

I *love* karaoke.  True, I’m a horrible singer (except for my one song, noted below, that I’ve practiced in the car until I’m sure I’ll kill it), but what I lack in talent, I make up for in enthusiasm.  Whenever I get a microphone in my hand, I can’t help but show off my total weakness for rocking out to my favorite songs as if I was some video star myself.

A lot of people are reluctant to do karaoke, which I don’t understand if you get a private room (like at Feel Karaoke in Koreatown) because your friends should give you a lot more points than complete strangers for the above-mentioned enthusiasm.  I want to encourage everyone to accept any karaoke invitation ever extended, so below are a few tips I’ve learned throughout the years:

1. Find your “signature” song.  Even if you’re a horrible singer (like me) there is ONE song out there that you can practice enough to totally impress your friends and make them think you know what you’re doing.  Mine is “Mrs. Jackson” by OutKast.  I think rap is a always a good signature choice because you don’t really have to know how to carry a tune so long as you can keep up with the lyrics.  And you want it to be fast (hence the impressive factor) but not too indecent (you don’t want to shock the office crew too much), with a break to catch your breath.  There are some Eminem songs that fit the bill too.
2. Pick crowd favorites.  It’s always fun if everyone gets excited by the song and joins in, even if they don’t have the microphone in their hands.  There are a few songs that I’ve found inspire even the hardest of hearts.  “Don’t Stop Believin'” by Journey is the #1.  Surprisingly, “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel has a lot of fans (many of whom may have learned the lyrics as part of their high school history course).  “All Star” by Smash Mouth prompts everyone to mime the “shape of an L on [her] forehead.”  And any hit by Britney Spears or N’Sync will, I’m sure, have some wallflowers budding.
3. Throw in at least one ABBA song.  “Dancing Queen.”  “Knowing Me, Knowing You.”  “Mamma Mia.”  “Take a Chance on Me.”  “SOS.”  We’ve all seen the musical or the movie, so we can sing along.
4. Recognize your limitations.  There are a lot of songs that are so amazing, but impossible to sing.  Any rap song that you haven’t practiced in the car is going to go off the rails.  And anything too high (like “Kiss” by Prince) may stress the range of the microphone.  Reverb can really kill the vibe.

Last but not least, dress appropriately!!!!!  Here, I’m wearing a pink shoulder-padded mini dress from Balmain that I got from Farfetch (http://www.farfetch.com) with black Splendid leggings and black Burberry knee boots.  It has a totally 80s dance feel that made my time with the microphone even more fun.

So next time you get that karaoke invite that you want to pass up, just say YES!  With these tips and a positive attitude, I swear you’ll have the “Time of [Your] Life” (although you probably shouldn’t select that Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes song unless you’re going to do the Dirty Dancing lift).